Saturday, August 6, 2011


I am a rich man,a very rich man,I owned houses,big houses and companies,I have lots of cars and ships and everything you could ever think of. All my children are schooling abroad,my extended family love me because I’m taking good care of all of them and I am married to a beautiful lady.
I own the most exotic and well stocked bar you could ever imagine right inside my living room . Every evening after work, I sit there and relax alone. I love my bar,it’s one of the most beautiful thing I have.
Then one day something strange happened. I began to notice something. Whenever I drink some wine and come back to drink it another evening,I realised that it tasted different,like someone has tampered with it,like it tasted diluted, initially I thought it strange and then I waved it off, I thought it was normal,but being a renowned wine critic, I knew that it wasn’t the same wine that I drank the previous evening. It didn’t happen to only one of them or two, all my expensive wines tasted different and diluted. Then one day I had enough of it, I decided to get to the root of the matter,so I bought a bottle of , so that any changes made to the wine could be visible since it is thick and also has a bright colour.I drank some of it and left it. When I came back the next evening,just as I thought, the wine had changed colour and seemed less thicker than it should be. This was enough.
‘’GG’’ I called my wife,she was upstairs so I went upstairs.
‘’GG,something strange is happening in this house’’
‘’honeyyy,like what?’’
‘’waittt,like all my bottles of wine are tasting diluted as if someone added water to it,all of them,who could possibly do such a thing?’’
‘’welll,that’s strange,but you know I don’t drink alcohol,especially alcoholic wine,I barely even go to the bar,so I’m not the one,maybe but have you asked Maxwell,he might know’’
Maxwell is our chef and has been with us for some years.
‘’Maxwell?’’ I asked ‘’maybe I should even sent him away,he’s the only other man in this house and I don’t want this rubbish repeating itself.’’
‘’noooo’’ my wife pleaded ‘’don’t send him away,why don’t you ask him first before you send him away?’’
So I went down to the living room shouting.
‘’Maxwell ‘’
‘’Maxwell ‘’
‘’Oga’’ he replied ‘’I dey for kitchen oh’’.
‘’Maxwell,did you drink any of my wines?’’
‘’Oga,I drink am’’
‘’Okkk,Maxwell,did you add water to any of my wines?’’
No response.
‘’Maxwell,I saidmdid you add water to any of my wines’’
No response.
‘’aren’t you hearing me?’’
‘’Oga,I dey hear’’
‘’I said did you add water to any of my wines?’’
Still no response.By this time my wife had come out.
‘’Maxwell,come out here’’
He came out.
‘’why aren’t you answering me?’’
‘’oga,no vex oh but if you dey inside that kitchen,you no go fit talk’’
‘’Oga,I dey tell you,try am now’’
So I walked into the kitchen, confused. What could be inside the kitchen?.
‘’Oga’’ Maxwell called out ‘’you dey there?’’
‘’Yes’’ I answered, ‘’there’s nothing here’’
‘’Yes’’ I answered again
‘’Na who dey go Mary room for night?’’
No response.
‘’Oga,you dey there?’’
No response.
‘’Oga,who give Mary belle?’’
No response.
‘’Oga ohhh,I say who do make our house girl,Mary carry belle?’’
No response.
“Oga,you no dey hear?’’
Still no response.
“Oya,Oga comot come”
I came out quietly and slowly,got into the living room and sat down. Every where was quiet and tensed,no body moved.
‘’Madam’’ Maxwell called out loudly to my wife.
She turned and looked at him.
“You go try?”
No response.


9jaFOODie said...

LOL...good one

N.I.L (Naijamum in London) said...

'Cunny man die, cunny man bury am'

Anonymous said...

#rolling on my laptop# :DD madam for try am nah!

gretel said...

@ 9jafoodie,thanks.
@ NIL,abii???you are right.
@ Ibhade,madam own for toh bad nah,lol


LOL... Now, that was funny...


MsJB said...

LOL Gretel you've killed me. What a household!

Myne Whitman said...

So funny, the wife should try too, lol..

gretel said...

@LDP thanks so much
@MsJB and i shall bring you back to life oh,thanks dear
now,did I get mine LOL "fanning myself" oya madam follow try

deolascope said...

So so funny, cant stop laughing

DIDI said...

So Funny!!! lol

Muse Origins said...

LMAO!! She suppose try too na hehe

Muse Origins Features
Muse Origins

Ginger said...

This Maxwell guy wicked o! see as he wan scatter this husband and wife becos of wine. wahala!

Mimi B said...


This is hilarious. The Oga sef no fit talk again true, true. LoL. Nice one.

P.E.T. Projects said...

lmao.... Good stuff

Spesh said...

Maxwell sha...hahahahaha

gretel said...

thanks so much for all the comments.

Priscy said...

can't stop laughing,nice one there.

Anonymous said...

LOol!! Maxwell Maxwell

Adura Ojo (Naijalines) said...

Funny. People who live in glass houses...hehehe.

Fragilelooks said...

lmsao. madam no fit try.................hehehehehehehehehe. DANGER

Sugarcoated said..., just imagining what he would have asked madam

RemiRoy said...

Gretel!!! Lawl! Hilarious!

gretel said...

Thank you for all the nice comments.

Anonymous said...

LMAO this is hilarious

aloted said...

this was too funny! lol

Okafor Supernova Nma said...

Lol. Gretel. I love this. I showed my friend and he actually laughed out loud in a resturant. Its quite funny...

Okafor Supernova Nma said...

So ehm... Kisses. Pls go to and read d posts. My friends are threatening to seize my phone cos I'm browsing at the table....but its cos I'm captivated by this. Lol. This is good babes.... I'm happy I met u n I read this. Take care dear. Bye xoxo. :D