Tuesday, May 6, 2014


Hello people.

Amidst everything.....Boko Haram, abducted school girls, bomb explosions everywhere, terrible road accidents, heart breaks, bad roads, auctioning of virginities....Yada Yada Yada, THERE IS GOD O!!!!!

No, I'm not ridiculing or mocking anyone. I feel that woman's pain a lot more than some people that tend to be hauling accusations and all that. But I think I felt  a deep sense of understanding when she said "THERE IS GOD O". That sentence says a lot. There is God.

I pray for Nigeria everyday but I get very passive about a lot of things these days. Pardon me. But I'm sure a lot of us are in these shoes. And to me those girls weren't kidnapped.

Onto other things.

Ebila the great a.k.a @9jasgreat got married. A big hearty congratulations to my Ebila. We had plans. Hot hot plans. That is hot and steamy plans. Hot and steamy online plans. He can kill me if he sees this but well he's at honeymoon banging his wife "legally". Lmao. Ekpedemulo. You know I wish you every fabulous thing ever, you deceitful son of a bitch. Hey, you're married o. No do like T&T and reply every hater. Well, I'm not hating. Just pissed. Have a blissful marriage. If you ever consider adultery......never mind, you missed this auction.

Onto other things. I've moved on from Ebila. Nasty heartbreaker. Yes, I'm pained. In Drake's voice, motherfucker never loved me. LOL.

Guess who had a fabulous birthday.......GRETEL. 20th April. Easter Sunday.
I had to go to Uyo, so I could braid my hair at my house comfortably and not have to write a cheque like I'd do here.
I had fun. Church was boring. And after church was the rest.

I received the first kiss from HIM. Like after that every sentence was accompanied by a kiss. And my mouth has been without a "kiss". For. A. While. LOL.

I thought that was over until I got back to work. I think this is the birthday I've had lots of EXPENSIVE gifts. Not those ones I get pork meat, akara and chicken suya with GL necklace bought from ASOS and aliexpress for 99 cents. And lots of BBM updates and too much beeps.

I should do a photo blog post of my birthday gifts. Do you know that I love "hello kitty"? Hm. I love Hello Kitty. I got bathroom covers and pots. Yes. Hello kitty pots. See, I cried.

Gucci Guilty. Jewel studded handbag. S5. A Karen Millen dress. And hair.

God answered my prayers. I had no Michael Kors. No. I don't hate it. One more MK and I'll choke. And puke.
I had two cakes. One was a gift from an ex-somebody. The other, a red velvet cake, with "Amy Sucre for PDP" written boldly on top, for my colleagues. Politics is my future.

HIS brother did a night birthday photoshoot for me. Where I was all natural and shy and silly and crying. I can't wait to see the pictures.

I disappointed everyone concerning my book launch. I really felt sad and defeated. But HE encouraged me and my mummy and daddy forgave me. Despite all they had put into it.

And He.

Sometimes, I wish I had prayed for a tall, fair, handsome, rich, sexy, drop dead gorgeous, humorous, extremely romantic boyfriend. Or Channing Tatum, or. Eminem, or Hemsworth or Michael Jackson. No, I didn't.

I prayed for Peace and Happiness. Because I know the hell I've been through in my young life and RR and sexy didn't count as peace.

And God answered.

Short, dark, handsome, comfortable, nice voice, not gorgeous, little humor( trust me, I know what I'm going through), just learning romance, extremely busy, WAS extremely formal, teachable boyfriend.

But the perfect definition of Peace and Happiness. Trust me, it wouldn't have been better.

I've had to teach him a lot. Gosh, a lot. But in 4 months, I haven't gone to bed upset, sad, bitter at myself or Nigeria, or angry. Now, who else doesn't go to bed angry if not Gretel? He made it a policy. We won't sleep angry.

Dude never sings in church or anywhere. Even in his bedroom. But he'll record himself singing XO by. Beyoncé and send to me. Silly faces. Let's not go there. He had a permanent fixed smile. Then I came along.

He does not send SMS first thing in the morning and last thing at night. But google ASOS deliveries and I'm sure my signature will pop up first five. Lol.

We may not end up together but I thank God for HIM. I've changed a bit. And if we end up together you all have known a different Gretel. I can say its a nice time of my life. But, I don't want to jinx it. There I go.

Onto other things.

Didi, next time you tell me you flying in a jet to propose to me, I will fly to GH and castrate you. Love.
Happy life Ebila.

Let love consume you. And devour you.


P.S. Please I can't post photos from my android device in here. Help.


DiDi said...

Ebila got married and I wasn't invited? Alright,officially not my bro anymore. Gretel darling, Boko haram is the reason I haven't landed in Nigeria, the jet is still mine so I call the shots . Mid air proposal loading. :*

SNM said...

Eye has not seen, neither has ear heard the depth of your foolishness! Are you and Shekau sipping from the same cup? What the actual heck is this about Ebila?
If his wife comes and reads this shebi you go talk say na play?!

Happy birthday to you in arrears. I will send my prayers in a text.

Toinlicious said...


A-9ja-Great said...

Young woman!!! What is wrong with you? Must you air what we do in secret? Our hot plans were supposed to be on the low.Hehehe Thanks for the wishes cutesa!!!

@Didi: I'm sorry bro,ish got too crazy! Don't dis-bro me just yet.I'm gonna make up with a bottle of Henny or JD.

@SNM: She's only kiding and i'm sure my wife will see it that way also.